Provision for the Journey

I went to bed early...er, anyway. Before midnight! I didn't waste time looking at things I can't have right now (well, for the most part), and was determined to go to bed before midnight. Maybe I should say Turn Everything Off And Go To Sleep, since I go to bed at a relatively decent time most nights, I just stay up reading, watching TV (Netflix app on my phone is wonderful...), browsing the net...just about anything to keep from going to sleep. To get some Me Time, since most of my day consists of meeting everyone else's wants/needs/demands it seems. I knew it was part of the job, I guess I just thought maybe once in a while I could do something I want to do.  This season, of demanding preschoolers and moody preteens, will end soon enough...it's just hard to see any end to the demanding nature of it.

I drifted off to sleep, praying...telling Yahweh I would do better tomorrow. That I really want to get to know His heart.

This morning I stayed up and had some coffee. I opened up the Kindle app on my phone (someday, I will actually have a Kindle...) and read a daily devotional I had purposed in my heart to read daily a few weeks ago, but have been very hit-and-miss about it. I decided to check my email, as I get some inspirational emails daily that always have some good nuggets in them. One email is from a source of free Kindle books, and there within I found this:

I Have Loved You:  Getting to Know the Father's Heart

photo from navpress.com

Hello!! It looks like Yahweh heard my prayer, and answered in just the way I needed. Now, why should I be surprised? I guess because I wasn't expecting it. I mean, I always try to believe that Yahweh will answer my prayers, I try to push back the thoughts that say He will answer them in the opposite way, just to teach me something. For example, we need a new vehicle. I can't stand Pontiacs, boxy looking things like Honda Elements or whatever nitwits came up with that Cube thing. I don't like dark green, dark blue, white, red, black, maroon or burgundy paint. So, when I pray for a new vehicle, I secretly fear that He will bring us a dark green Pontiac or a burgundy cracker box on wheels, and I will have to humble myself and be thankful for it. 

You see, I don't really know the heart of the Father. 

I really need to change my view of Him.

The Key Thought for Deeper Intimacy in the reading today (in the book above) is:

Because my Father has said, "You are Mine,"

I can personally experience His love.

I'm trying to remember that today. I think I will write it on something and put it where I can see it. Maybe I need to just chew on that for a few days before moving on, because honestly...I hear it in my head, but it's not in my heart yet. 

There was a brief moment of a spark trying to kindle when I read 

In Ephesians 1:4, Paul proclaimed that what God did for Israel, He has also done for you:  "Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love" (MSG)

It is mind-blowing to think that Yahweh was thinking of me, and gazillions of others, before he ever laid the foundations of this earth. If I can just absorb that, let that permeate every cell, every breath, every heartbeat, every thought...

I planned on reading a chapter a day in this book, but I really feel I can't move on until I really, really get that because my Father has said, "You are Mine," I can personally experience His love. I'm not personally experiencing His love...yet.